The Dark Tower (2017) Sunday, 29 March 2020

The Dark Tower (2017)

Additional Info

  • Rating:

    M: Science fiction themes and violence.

  • The pitch:

    There are other stories than these.

  • Starring:

    Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Dennis Haysbert, Claudia Kim, Jackie Earle Haley, Nicholas Hamilton

  • Directed by:

    Nikolaj Arcel

  • Running time:

    95 minutes

  • Rated:

    M (Australia), 12A (UK), PG-13 (USA)


    Characters are shot (many), run through with swords, kicked, slashed, strapped into experiment chairs, punched, knocked to the ground, asphyxiated, burned, hit by car, pursued, thrown through the air, grabbed by monsters/demons, shirt-grabbed, dangled over a cliff edge, wrestled, hair-pulled, dragged, knocked over, hit by falling objects, ordered to stop breathing, ordered to kill each other, pinned against tree, pierced in shoulder, face-grabbed, kidnapped, blindfolded, stabbed, smacked, slammed against wall/out of window/into bus, thrown down stairs, elbowed, sliced with shard of glass, crushed beneath objects. Burning village, property damage, rubble. Tower struck with laser of light/energy. Balls of red energy in sky, explosion. News reports of earthquake damage/rubble, 5 dead in downtown explosion. Banging on door/door kicked in. Sketch book grabbed from schoolkid. Objects thrown. Screaming, roaring. Apocalypse mentioned. Blood/gore: Bodies on ground, bodies falling. Burn mark on floor (implied remains of murdered parent). Bloody shoulder, hand, lips, mouth, clothing, forehead, chest, objects, bullet wound. Gash on neck, open bloody wound, dismembered limb (tentacle), wound on neck. Dripping blood, licking blood, blood spatter, bleeding nose. Demon/monster with big scary teeth, tentacles, slimy skin etc. Hospital setting (patient in hospital bed, IV lines/drips). Bandage, people on stretchers. Creepy characters with fake human head masks (raised scar lines down necks, flabby skin joins, peeling skin, raised dark veins). "They eat kids", infection, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis E, chronic radiation sickness mentioned.


    (None): Hugging.


    Drugs (painkillers and vitamins). Alcohol (wine). Antibiotics mentioned.


    S-words, butt. Name-calling (crazy, special, sorcerer, trespasser, seat filler, stalker, dog, savages, etc). Religious references and exclamations (Christ, Jesus, what the hell, go to hell, for Christ's sake, I swear to God, etc).


    The Dark Tower, the last Gunslinger, fantasy worlds, magic, adventure, survival, insanity, rivals, unlikely heroes, legends, visions, sketches, psychiatry, psychic powers, revenge.


    Dead father figures, dead mother. Hospital setting. Earthquakes, tremors, nightmares, visions. Abandoned theme park, power blackout. Dog, goats, chickens. Taxidermy heads on wall. Spider, demons, monsters mentioned. Rabbit killed (off-screen) and eaten, hot dog eaten. Cooking hamburgers, cooking chicken.


    Competent, watchable, lean, mean, pulpy, fast-paced, decent. Inspired casting, fine performances, entertaining visual effects, promising opening sequence.


    Derivative, forgettable, average, disappointing, underwhelming, uninspiring, generic-looking, airless, pointless, inauthentic, flavourless, boring, convoluted, truncated, bad. One-dimensional characters, erratic storytelling, needlessly busy/ramshackle plot, wonky writing, laughable dialogue, bland exposition, poor editing; superficial adaptation of superb source material, lacks gravitas.

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